Monthly Archives: July 2012


You know that show on the naughty channel?

No ma’am.

The one with the confessions?

No ma’am.

They have little surveillance cameras.

I don’t know it, ma’am.

Don’t you watch TV when you get home late?

I do sometimes.

They show people being naughty in the back of a taxi cab.

In a taxi cab?

Then they talk to the driver.

What do they talk to the driver about?

They confess their dirty little secrets.

To the cab driver?

Just like I talk to you, Bruce.

What does the driver do?

He listens and talks and stuff.

Does the driver ever get involved?

How do you mean, Bruce?

Is he involved, I mean, with their naughty stuff?

Of course he’s involved. He’s driving the cab.

Do they sit in the back?

Not always.

What’s the show called?

Something “Confessions.”

Taxi Cab Confessions?

I don’t remember.

Do you enjoy that show, ma’am?

I do, Bruce. I watch it every Friday night.


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Don’t Flap Me

Whoa. Stop.

Come on, let’s do it again.

Don’t flap me here.

This is my place.

This is not your place. This is my place.

This is my moment.

I shall not be flapped. Not today, not now.

Quiet down, and sit straight in the saddle.

Do what I say.

Go where I go.

Follow my commands.

Follow your quemmands?

I demand you walk this way.

I’m not walking that way.

Do not flap me.

I’m not doing that.

I shall whip you if you disobey.

Is that a threat? How old are you?

I am a confident, proud, mindful human being.

What are you trying to prove?

And I am unflappable.

This isn’t fun anymore.

Faster now. Jump those beams.

What? Where?

Jump! Now!

Whoa. That felt good.

Good. Slow down.

No way. This is my moment.

I said slow down. This is my moment!

Are you sure? What about all the other beams we could jump?

Do not flap me!

That one there?

Whoa! Stop!

Hold on, I really want to do this.

I said stop! Stop!

One more. One more.

I am becoming unflapped!

unflap. unflap. unflap. Wheee!

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