Monthly Archives: September 2012

Test Your Literary I.Q.

Why was Donkey Ho Tay also known as the man of la mancha?

a. I never got to that part of the book. It’s super long.

b. He fought for the people of la mancha and in their eyes, he was “the man.”

c. He was a Donkey who then turned into a man who lived in a place called la mancha somewhere in Europe.

d. I never read it.

e. all of the above

 

When does George Orwell’s futurist novel 1984 take place?

a. The future

b. I definitely read that book.

c. 1994

d. 1999

e. None of the above. Didn’t read it.

 

In Jack Kerouac’s Dharma Bums, on whom is the protagonist, Japhy Ryder based?

a. On whom? You sure it’s not who?

b. Raffi Cavoukian

c. Jesus Christ

d. Jerry Snyder

e. Gary Ryder

 

What is Hemingway’s short story Hills Like White Elephants actually about?

a. Divorce

b. A pro-life anti-abortion rally on a hill

c. Adult-onset Separation Anxiety

d. The white cliffs of Dover

e. Albino elephants

 

David Foster Wallace’s essay E Unibus Pluram: Television and U.S. Fiction predicted:

a. The Internet

b. That U.S. fiction would turn into U.S. television

c. That T.V. would ruin pretty much everything

d. The apocalypse

e. E Uni– what?

 

Tolstoy wrote which of the following:

a. Tolstoy: A Guide for the Perplexed

b. The Declaration of Independence

c. Fiddler on the Roof

d. War and/or Peace

e. None of the above. He was the founder of Marxist Philosophy.

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Love, Cats

If you follow my blog, you might have noticed I am a cat lover. My cat sentiments are not simply an infatuation or an obsession. It is a kind of cycle. It’s a trap.

This cat-loving whirlwind began long ago, when I first examined myself in the mirror. First, I was scared. I tried to fight my image, slapping half-heartedly at the body I saw before me.

In time, I grew out of my self-loathing phase. I grew to love my self-image. I stared at myself all morning and all afternoon.

My parents took care of me and I grew old and fat. My life has been wonderful.

I have loved my self and my life ever since I realized how cute and cuddly I really was all along. How can you deny it? I sure can’t.

Now I am bound by this love, by this beautiful animal staring back at me in the mirror. He is so soft, so furry, and so sly. I love him. I love that he is a cat. I love everything about him. But I worry my love is distracting me from the world around me. If I were not so in love with this cat, I might find time to get rid of my housemate, George.

George is a problem. George hates cats. He hates me. I hate him because I love cats. George is loyal, but he is an idiot. I want George out of my house. I would knock that loyal smirk off his face if I could. That would be awesome.

I would do anything to get rid of George, but alas I am caught in this cycle of self-loving. It would be impossible to motivate myself to do anything about George.

George will have to stay. Maybe I will leave. Maybe later—tomorrow. Maybe not.

I’m in a real bind. Any suggestions?

Love,

Cats

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