“THE WAIT” (a three part series)
“WAIT”
“WAIT!”
“WAIT!!!” (this was the most intense one)
“WAITING” (actual minutes from Congress)
“WAITING FOR THE BEARS TO COME” (by that guy who got eaten)
“The Man”
“The Bus”
“The Ashtray”
“The Room”
“The Rent”
“The Responsibilities” (by a college freshman)
“The Teabag” (not porn)
“Beans in Your Smithereens”
“Corn in Your Cob”
“Grower Not Shower”
“Sour Milk Shower” (takes place on a dairy farm in Connecticut)
“Tween Rothenstein” (Lena Dunham’s Fan Blog)
“Bar Mitzvah Blues” (Daniel’s Vlog)
“Above”
“Between”
“Abound”
“Wherefore”
“Windmill” (Dutch poem)
“Warmer”
“Colder”
“Timer”
“Sleeper” (not the robot with hipster glasses)
“Crapper”
“Toucher” (we had to report this guy)
“Preacher’s Mother”
“Preacher’s Son”
“Preacher’s Daughter”
“Preacher’s Manchild” (Autobiography of Joel Osteen)
“First Time”
“Sperm Bank”
“Vern Knows”
“You’re Gone”
“Drama Queen”
“Mnemonic Dominic”
“Hegel’s Bagels” (idealistic take on the gentrification of bagels)
“Nothing Will Be Delivered” (pessimistic take on the potential outsourcing of Chinese food delivery jobs to China)
“Pain is a Funny Thing” (Gitmo Comedy in three Acts)
“Cowboy in Thailand” (actually a really good title)
“Christmas in Poland” (pretty bleak)
“Permission to Eat Grass” (talking goat)
“The Business of Flies” (New Yorker cartoon)
“Flipping Grandma”
“Mostly Small Talk”
“Just A Little Bit” (a lot of nonsense)
“In the River of Remember” (so so bad)
“The Wise and Foolish Virgins”
“Virgin at Twenty-Nine”
“Fun with Prick and Jane” (not porn)
“My Awful Mouth” (porn)
“The Dick Abides” (detective porn)
“Abide with Me!”
“The Devoted Wife” (Mormon non-fiction)
“An Ode to Phyllis”
“The Human Fence” (structuralist opinion piece)
“The Grape of Wrath”
“The Great Hornsby”
“Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Instagram” (More fan fiction)
“Fuck Sylvia Plath” (Seriously?)
“Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.” (Re-submission by same author of “Fuck Sylvia Plath”)
“I Want to Eat One of Every Animal in the World” (carnivore opinion piece)
“A Long Hard Day of Being Looked At” (Excerpt from a Ford Model’s Memoir)
“The Dalai Lama’s Sharks” (This actually made it to the editors meeting)
Jeremy Scheuer 