Best 50 Books I Read This Year

1. Keeping Secrets from Yourself – Freud

2. Confessions – by Augustine

3. Confessions of a Self-loather – by Mordecai Hussein

4. Schiksa – Woody Allen autobiography

5. The Shining – movie by Stephen King

6. War and Peace – by Russia

7. Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man – back cover

8. Ulysses – first and second pages

9. “Motherhood for Men” – article in Men’s Health

10. “A Brief Analysis of your Urethra” – UTI pamphlet

11. “How to Fight a UTI” – WebMD

12. “The Death of Postmodernism: We Found God in a Tunnel” – CERN blog post

13. “Doomsday: Actually, We’re All Gonna Die” – editorial Christian Science Review

14. “Teaching Your Teen Abstinence” – Dr. Phil

15. “Teaching Your Teen Hygiene” – Dr. Phil

16. Teenagers on My Mind – novel by Dr. Phil

17. Infinite Jest – parodic blog

18. “Buy More! Now!” – billboard

19. “Barn Party and Coke” – Coca Cola ad

20. “Coke Party in a Barn” – same ad ten minutes later

21. Lost – all 5 seasons in order of disappointment

22. “Avert Your Eyes” – interview with Pam Anderson

23. “Avert Your Eyes Pt. II: Look Away, I’m Hideous” – ibid.

24. The Art of Balding – essay by Larry David

25. To Bald or Not to Bald: No Choice – essay by Larry David

26. Insomnia – memoir by Eli Wiesel

27. Fear of Failure – non-fiction novel I’m working on right now

28. Fear of Flying –Philosophical Review

29. Fear of Germophobia – Kosher Psychology Quarterly

30. Agoraphobia: Adventures in Central Park – manuscript found in trash can on 72^nd and Central Park West

31. Nichomachean Ethics – by Aristotle (Ch. 1)

32. Nichomachean Ethics – (Ch. 1 again)

33. Nichomachean Ethics – (Ch. 1 halfway through, eventually abandoned)

34. Discipline and Punish – Foucault

35. Discipline and Punish Me – Dr. Phil

36. Discipline and Germophobia – Heiddeger

37. Women Love Nice Men – Steinbeck (actually read in 6^th grade)

38. Chicks Dig Me – Hemingway

39. Chicks Like to Travel with Me – Hemingway (bought but didn’t read)

40. Traveling with Chicks Kills My Buzz – essay by Hemingway

41. Changed My Mind: Chicks Are Life – short story by Hemingway

40. Traveling Gutter Punks – Kerouac

41. Sound and the Fury – Faulkner

42. Sound and the Fury – plotsummary.com

43. A Fiction Writer’s Guide to Lying – James Frey

44. @DollyParton – following on twitter

45. @AshtonKutcher – the twittiest tweeter on twitter

46. Politics and the Secret Language – CIA pamphlet found in my mailbox

47. Putin’ the ‘Mafia’ in ‘Russian Mafia’ – Putin’s self-censored autobiography

48. Billion’s Not Enough – memoir by David Koch

49. How to Secretly Control Everything – Koch Industries for Dummies

50. We Run This B*tch – manifesto co-written by Charles and David Koch